folwer:

but its important

bespectacledsloth:

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.

(via haithinkimfunny)

gryffinewt:

hermannsparka:

when people complain about tumblr sucking I kinda wonder if they realize that what shows up on one’s dash is pretty much self-selected?

like, maybe you just have shitty taste, friends

unless by sucking they’re referring to the vacuum void that is addiction 

(via haithinkimfunny)

theoburr:

STILL MAD AT THIS MOVIE
theoburr:

STILL MAD AT THIS MOVIE

the-vashta-nerada:

chronukkahlylate:

the-vashta-nerada:

the-vashta-nerada:

one time i picked up a penny and i hit my head on the door handle and i have a tiny scar from it and that was the third worst time i ever picked up a penny

the second worst time i ever picked up a penny was when one time i picked up a penny on the street and i almost got hit by a car

what’s the worst time you ever picked up a penny

i was in an airport and i hit a baby by accident

(via haithinkimfunny)

Today I went to Subway.

There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”

image

(via haithinkimfunny)

neilpatrickharry:

The Very Potter Seamus Finnigan is a perfect representation of your average british teenager.
neilpatrickharry:

The Very Potter Seamus Finnigan is a perfect representation of your average british teenager.

neilpatrickharry:

The Very Potter Seamus Finnigan is a perfect representation of your average british teenager.

(via haithinkimfunny)

bluecrysto:

pabuthefirecat:

Pabu, the Acrobatic Cat
Pabu: Jump!  Jump!  Double-jump!

what are cats bluecrysto:

pabuthefirecat:

Pabu, the Acrobatic Cat
Pabu: Jump!  Jump!  Double-jump!

what are cats bluecrysto:

pabuthefirecat:

Pabu, the Acrobatic Cat
Pabu: Jump!  Jump!  Double-jump!

what are cats bluecrysto:

pabuthefirecat:

Pabu, the Acrobatic Cat
Pabu: Jump!  Jump!  Double-jump!

what are cats bluecrysto:

pabuthefirecat:

Pabu, the Acrobatic Cat
Pabu: Jump!  Jump!  Double-jump!

what are cats bluecrysto:

pabuthefirecat:

Pabu, the Acrobatic Cat
Pabu: Jump!  Jump!  Double-jump!

what are cats bluecrysto:

pabuthefirecat:

Pabu, the Acrobatic Cat
Pabu: Jump!  Jump!  Double-jump!

what are cats bluecrysto:

pabuthefirecat:

Pabu, the Acrobatic Cat
Pabu: Jump!  Jump!  Double-jump!

what are cats

bluecrysto:

pabuthefirecat:

Pabu, the Acrobatic Cat

Pabu: Jump!  Jump!  Double-jump!

what are cats

(via helioscentrifuge)

idreamofjimmy:

Sheen Estevez, Ace Attorney idreamofjimmy:

Sheen Estevez, Ace Attorney idreamofjimmy:

Sheen Estevez, Ace Attorney idreamofjimmy:

Sheen Estevez, Ace Attorney idreamofjimmy:

Sheen Estevez, Ace Attorney idreamofjimmy:

Sheen Estevez, Ace Attorney
relitseleirda:

jellyphile:

cas-hellodean:

poeticdarkbeauty:

youngblackandvegan:

and that’s why you don’t go around fixing people
and that’s why you don’t give up pieces of yourself to make someone else whole

We do this more than we think. Sometimes we reject those who have helped us the most. Other times, we help those who allow their egos to hide their humilities.

someONE FUCKING MAKE THAT TEDDY BEAR HAPPY BEFORE I CHOKE BECAUSE I HAVE TEARS BRIMMING MY EYES HELP ME










it may take time but there is someone waiting to hold your hand

My tears
relitseleirda:

jellyphile:

cas-hellodean:

poeticdarkbeauty:

youngblackandvegan:

and that’s why you don’t go around fixing people
and that’s why you don’t give up pieces of yourself to make someone else whole

We do this more than we think. Sometimes we reject those who have helped us the most. Other times, we help those who allow their egos to hide their humilities.

someONE FUCKING MAKE THAT TEDDY BEAR HAPPY BEFORE I CHOKE BECAUSE I HAVE TEARS BRIMMING MY EYES HELP ME










it may take time but there is someone waiting to hold your hand

My tears
relitseleirda:

jellyphile:

cas-hellodean:

poeticdarkbeauty:

youngblackandvegan:

and that’s why you don’t go around fixing people
and that’s why you don’t give up pieces of yourself to make someone else whole

We do this more than we think. Sometimes we reject those who have helped us the most. Other times, we help those who allow their egos to hide their humilities.

someONE FUCKING MAKE THAT TEDDY BEAR HAPPY BEFORE I CHOKE BECAUSE I HAVE TEARS BRIMMING MY EYES HELP ME










it may take time but there is someone waiting to hold your hand

My tears
relitseleirda:

jellyphile:

cas-hellodean:

poeticdarkbeauty:

youngblackandvegan:

and that’s why you don’t go around fixing people
and that’s why you don’t give up pieces of yourself to make someone else whole

We do this more than we think. Sometimes we reject those who have helped us the most. Other times, we help those who allow their egos to hide their humilities.

someONE FUCKING MAKE THAT TEDDY BEAR HAPPY BEFORE I CHOKE BECAUSE I HAVE TEARS BRIMMING MY EYES HELP ME










it may take time but there is someone waiting to hold your hand

My tears
relitseleirda:

jellyphile:

cas-hellodean:

poeticdarkbeauty:

youngblackandvegan:

and that’s why you don’t go around fixing people
and that’s why you don’t give up pieces of yourself to make someone else whole

We do this more than we think. Sometimes we reject those who have helped us the most. Other times, we help those who allow their egos to hide their humilities.

someONE FUCKING MAKE THAT TEDDY BEAR HAPPY BEFORE I CHOKE BECAUSE I HAVE TEARS BRIMMING MY EYES HELP ME










it may take time but there is someone waiting to hold your hand

My tears
relitseleirda:

jellyphile:

cas-hellodean:

poeticdarkbeauty:

youngblackandvegan:

and that’s why you don’t go around fixing people
and that’s why you don’t give up pieces of yourself to make someone else whole

We do this more than we think. Sometimes we reject those who have helped us the most. Other times, we help those who allow their egos to hide their humilities.

someONE FUCKING MAKE THAT TEDDY BEAR HAPPY BEFORE I CHOKE BECAUSE I HAVE TEARS BRIMMING MY EYES HELP ME










it may take time but there is someone waiting to hold your hand

My tears
relitseleirda:

jellyphile:

cas-hellodean:

poeticdarkbeauty:

youngblackandvegan:

and that’s why you don’t go around fixing people
and that’s why you don’t give up pieces of yourself to make someone else whole

We do this more than we think. Sometimes we reject those who have helped us the most. Other times, we help those who allow their egos to hide their humilities.

someONE FUCKING MAKE THAT TEDDY BEAR HAPPY BEFORE I CHOKE BECAUSE I HAVE TEARS BRIMMING MY EYES HELP ME










it may take time but there is someone waiting to hold your hand

My tears

relitseleirda:

jellyphile:

cas-hellodean:

poeticdarkbeauty:

youngblackandvegan:

and that’s why you don’t go around fixing people

and that’s why you don’t give up pieces of yourself to make someone else whole

We do this more than we think. Sometimes we reject those who have helped us the most. Other times, we help those who allow their egos to hide their humilities.

someONE FUCKING MAKE THAT TEDDY BEAR HAPPY BEFORE I CHOKE BECAUSE I HAVE TEARS BRIMMING MY EYES HELP ME

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

it may take time but there is someone waiting to hold your hand

My tears

(via haithinkimfunny)

merlinfanatic77:

biinarykid:

wtfrobin:

oflivingthings:

Snow White. Bengal. Golden. White.

Oh hell yeah this is the coolest picture ever

looks like God ran out of printer ink

reblogging for comment 

(via haithinkimfunny)

tonystarks:

do you ever think that the nurse who undressed thor to put him in the hospital gown thing ever saw jane pick him up and just gave her a thumbs up and mouthed something about how hung he is

(via haithinkimfunny)